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Louis van Gaal instills a hint of menace to David De Gea contract announcement
Steven Gerrard misses Liverpool more than anyone has ever missed Liverpool, sounds sad
Will Ferrell urges Jose Mourinho to “keep playing defense, man”
David Beckham’s son generously serves as mascot to people less famous than him
Marouane Fellaini is a striker now because the transfer market is cruel
Pedro scores on his Chelsea debut, Falcao declares it “Great, if you like that sort of thing”
Marco Matias scores sublime volley off a sombrero against Leeds
Sky Sports News reports on Charlie Austin’s dick ligaments
Raheem Sterling is selling his Michael Jackson room (and the Merseyside house it’s a part of)
Louis van Gaal has set the bar really low for Wayne Rooney
Santi Cazorla reveals that Nacho Monreal is Arsenal’s new Nicklas Bendtner
Romelu Lukaku hits fan with errant shot, apologizes with hug and a shirt