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Future News: Man City surprised to learn that there are no rules against winning consecutive Premier League titles
The inner thoughts of Cristiano Ronaldo as he scored five goals in one match for the first time
Petr Cech’s expert analysis of Charlie Adam’s 65-yard goal against Chelsea
A confession from FIFA president Sepp Blatter
Waiting for a ride home from school with Lionel Messi
Pep Guardiola is using Zidane to sabotage Real Madrid (probably)
Conspiracy Theory: Steven Gerrard set Mario Balotelli’s bathroom on fire in 2011
DT Exclusive: Every interview with Pele ever
Several positives that will hopefully dry Falcao’s tears
The solutions to Chelsea’s “penalty puzzle”
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s expert analysis of the Champions League quarterfinal draw
Future News: Frank Lampard demands retroactive transfer to the club he pretended to sign for